Today, David and I started our day with bad mood at the begging of day.
And we started to take a walk together on the beach side but we couldn't walk together at all.
We walked at a different pace by self and we could finish walking at our parking place which David parked his car near the beach.
Something wrong happened to us inside or our hearts but we couldn't find any solution until we came back to home after our walking.
I suggested him to write down 3 topics on a paper how to focus on each heart to recover our relationship and to fix our feeling.
David looked not good feeling at the begging of the writing still, but I prayed that this writing method would help us anyhow.
This writing method is called, "NAIKAN (in Japanese)"="Introspection" and it is based on psychological approach for each heart to find our really needs of mind.
After we finished writing, we started to share with each writing and communicate each other to understand more & better.
And suddenly, my tears came out from my both eyes and it couldn't help stopping at all.
I don't know what happened to my heart but David's message moved me inside deeply and my heart needed to cry with tears.
And I communicate with David with honesty and pure heart and we could understand each other more than before.
Our bad situation of this morning was over and it meant to happen to us to communicate each other later.
After my tears stopped enough I cried a lot, I felt clearer than before inside of my heart.
And David went to work after our deep communication and we had better feeling each other to fix our bad mood with honest communication.
To communicate each other with honesty is essential part of our marriage life.
But sometimes I became so be afraid that my words might be hurt David unconsciously, so I don't want to talk to him with noble silence.
To keep so long silence is not good for David and I will try sharing my heart more than before, because I learned a lot today.
Anyway, I want to be more better myself to learn my life with David.
Sometimes we will have a hard time but we need to communicate more than before not to misunderstand each other again...
David and I went to walk as usual as we do in this morning after Christmas day.
And I wanted to share my thought & his during our walking time after our meditation time.
I wanted to tell my honest feeling and opinion how to live with David as a marriage couple from now on.
But some words cannot make David understand with calm and patience because my expression was not enough.
I didn't mean to hurt him at all, but my words came out of my heart naturally with lots of tears suddenly.
Finally, David could understand how I think & feel last 6 months and I felt so much love from his eyes & words.
He tried to stop my tears with his deep love & generosity and I appreciate with his love so much.
After I cried a lot, I became so clearer than before in my mind that I could feel myself relived to know my love & his love again.
My tears has no meaning at that time but something came out from the bottom of my heart.
And today I can feel so much LOVE & warm heart inside my mind and I just feel so much gratitude for our marriage life anyway.
Today is very meaningful for me and David and I can love more and better than yesterday, we can feel it.
And just we appreciate each other because we are the best team to love & understand from now and forever.
I wish your last week of this year will be filled with LOVE & SMILE as you are...^^
Today is Christmas Eve.
I am not interested in Christmas at all but David seems to want doing something special for Christmas.
But today I made a special dinner which David will like it to express my Christmas mood for him by cooking.
I checked some recipes for Christmas cake but big cake looks too much for only two of us.
So I made chocolate mousse with tofu without chocolate.
But I thought that only the mousse doesn't enough for David and I made ginger-man cookie to eat with chocolate mousse.
Maybe it doesn't work for David's favorite mood for Christmas, so I will try to cook another sweets tomorrow again.
And I neglect to decollate Christmas tree this year, because it is troublesome for me a little.
But I decided to decollate for him today to let David feel Christmas mood somehow.
To decollate fake Christmas tree & to clean it up later were only my work.
So I thought that it was just troublesome for me but I changed my mind today.
Only half of day, he have to work today but after that and tomorrow, he doesn't need to work to enjoy Christmas.
So I want to try to let him enjoy Christmas mood with him as much as possible.
Today is our 3rd years' anniversary of marriage.
We planned to go somewhere near the ocean but I found that weather would rain, so we changed our plan.
Not staying somewhere but we had a nice time together today.
I found an organic sushi restaurant in downtown Seattle and we went there.
On the way to the restaurant, it was a little crowded with rain.
But we could find the restaurant finally and we really enjoyed having dinner together.
Especially organic chard salad and nice rolls we loved the taste a lot.
And on the way back to home, we started to laugh each other so hard that our abdominal muscle and mouth became pain a little.
But we really laughed very hard and we felt so much happiness together.
After coming back to home, we exchanged a message card each other like our normal tradition.
We realized how we love each other and we want to love more and better from now on.
Not doing something special, to be with DAVID is the most precious thing for me.
And to enjoy our marriage life every single day is the most important part of my life.
LOVE is wonderful and I really appreciate with DAVID's love always...thank you for his everything for me anyway.
Yesterday we had a nice time together after our interview for green card.
We went to DERU market together because we went there before but we didn't taste it then.
David found this restaurant and he really loved this cafe's atmosphere.
All menu is organic and looked very delicious...
So we sat down to order menu but little by little I changed my mind to eat curry.
When I received the document for the interview, I wanted to eat organic curry and I told David about it.
And I remember it and I asked him that how we are going to get some cakes and 1 meal to take out here and move to the Indian restaurant which I found before.
I didn't want him get angry and feel down by my picky opinion.
He was very generous and accepted to my offer because today is my birthday and special for me.
I just really appreciate his generosity and love and we moved to Chutney's Bistro.
This restaurant was very nice atmosphere and all staffs are very friendly.
Organic curry restaurant is very rare and it is very difficult to find.
I felt a little salty of our meals but we really enjoyed our time together.
Birthday is not be celebrated by someone for me but he wanted to make it special.
And I feel that I need to accept his treat without saying "NO!" to enjoy together.
Already he gave me a wonderful gift & sweet message card for my birthday so I just don't want him to use his precious money.
But we need to enjoy dinner together last night to celebrate our success of interview, too.
I am very lucky to be DAVID's wife fortunately, I realized it so much every day....
Today, I have to leave Seattle to Narita before noon.
A kind woman of Alaska airline gave David to ID to assist my flight for free.
It was the first offer from all officer at this airpor for us. so David could enter the security gate to see me off in front of my gate for Los angels...
We had a nice extra time to have time together just before my departure.
David & I talked to a lot together the limieted time and we really appreciate with her kindness....
We really enjoyed having time together in the area of departure area at Sea-Tac airpot.
Today we cried each other in the car from our home to the airport a little but we didn't cry anymore at my departure time.
We smiled together to be looking forward to seeing us again in Dec.
Of course my heart was rendring so hard but tears cannot resolove our mind at all.
Just to focus on each mission for next 2 months to fulfille our each heart by each efforts & strength.
To love each other at different place in this world let our hearts connect more & deeper...
And we realized how we love each other and each existence became our part of life.
LOVE is impossible to express with any words, I think.
To feel LOVE and to express each venevolence from the bottom of heart is how to live each other by all behavior & faith in deeper level of spirit.
And I don't mind the actual reality & visible situation at all to let my heart be happy in peace.
David's & my love is completely AWESOME POSSUME by my visit for last 3 weeks.
We trust each other so much and just we want to creat for our unique & wonderful life together from now on.
I have no doubt about our love & near future to start over in DEC soon.
To love each other & to enrich our mind & spirit let our life be getting better & better day by day.
I wish that DAVID will smile without me to enjoy his days by my love inside of his heart every day....
I will be back to Seattle in Dec , it will come soon..
So David & I need to focus on each day as we are to get together again!!
To let each being apart again is tough time , but we are absolutey positive couple.
Thank you for everything for DAVID, his great folks & tender frineds for us.
I wish you can enjoy the greate NEW MOON day today!!
On 12th January, I will return to Japan.
So only 10days remain to be here with DAVID.
Again...we need to say "GOOD BYE" to being apart from each other at my departure time.
And we promised not to cry at that time, but always we cried to feel our hearts rendering with lots of tears.
But I will return to Seattle on 13th May again, after 4 months...it's will come soon.
So at my departure time, I don't want to cry anymore.
We are used to be patient for a while with each LOVE & trustness.
And we have many things to do at each place for next 4 months.
So only 4 months will pass so quickly and we will have no time to feel sad at all.
David is thinking a lot of things every day before my departure.
Maybe it seems to think to forget my departure at this moment.
I can understand his feelings so I want to enjoy the rest of our stay for next 10days.
Day by day , I got used to this town to live with DAVID.
And I want to come back here so much.
I have many plans to visit my precious friends in JAPAN & to go to Thailand after my arrival in JAPAN.
So I will be very busy to do that.
And many things can let me forget my sadness & conceal my loneliness.
I want to pray about it.
We can talk by SKYPE & send messages by e-mail when we aren't together.
So everything will be O.K.
I have no worry & doubt about our LOVE, so just I want to wait the day when we can see again in MAY.
How is your new year??
David has started to work on 1st January & also today.
But we are happy just we can be together every day at our home.
I wish everyone can start & enjoy your new year's life as your own pace with happiness & peace in your heart always...
I have never felt such a wonderful love for DAVID before our marriage last year.
Maybe both of us...we have something loneliness or solitude to live by self each before we met at Samui island in Thailand.
And we lived each way before our miracle meeting on the beach.
But we never gave up to meet someone special & proper partner to live together for the rest of life.
To live by myself is very simply way and easy.
But I wanted to share with great time to spend common experiences together someday.
And my friend showed me how visualize I need to meet somebody to get married in the near future as it really happens to me.
I have no idea who is my partner as I want to live together at that time.
But she pointed to me to visualize clearly the proper person who I want & need the best.
Only I knew that my best partner to meet someday is born in western countries, for example...Europe or America...
And he can speak English well for me.
I tried to visualize the person to meet in the future whenever I pray for NEW MOON every month after her advice.
After her advice, about 6 months later , I fortunately met DAVID on the beach at Samui island.
I felt something special at the first meeting DAVID, but I couldn't understand why & how DAVID appeared to me suddenly.
But DAVID felt same way to me like I felt something to him.
After our marriage, we talked about our first meeting and we just appreciated with this lucky meeting for GOD.
Only GOD knows DAVID & I are the best combination to live together as the best friend & the best partner each other.
Day by day, we understood our differences each other to know better with kind LOVE.
Naturally we became marriage couple and it is very comfortable situation and we are very happy every day.
Sometimes we have a uncomfortable feelings & emotions a little, but soon it can disappear by deep communication.
And the end of 2013, only 4 days remain..., we can feel our new start for new year now.
David wants to change better than before.
I am proud of his way of thought to grow up more & better by his efforts.
And I want to be a proper & better person to love DAVID & to be loved by him more...
How is your the end of 2013??
Here is foggy & cloudy day today in Seattle.
But my heart is shining today, too!!
With HOPE & great flowing for new year.... I can feel so much.
How about you??
To understand how to be with DAVID again in Seattle next year.
His precious friend's support us and we got a great advice recently.
So we decided to come back to Seattle again next May soon!
David is very happy to know that & of course, I am really happy to be together again soon.
We are ready for being patient to get my VISA to live in the U.S.A for long months next year.
But we can be together soon without waiting for a long months less than our imaginations.
And today, with DAVID's support, I found a nice flight ticket & I booked it quickly.
We are really exciting for it next May.
After G.W (it's called "Golden Week" =long holiday in Japan), I will fly into Seattle again to be with lovely DAVID soon!
For us, not normal marriage life will still continue for a while but it doesn't matter for us at all.
Our love can be beyond the time & distance and we trust each other so much.
Just we are looking forward to seeing again next May...
We really happy to be together without saying GOOD-BYE again anymore!
I really appreciate his great friend so much, thank you very very much.
Author:Masuda Keiko (増田佳子)
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