To share how I feel to each other is important for communication of human beings.
Sometimes I like to be silence mode to face on my feeling inside deeply without talking to others.
But sometimes I like to share how I feel now to understand myself inside because to make my feeling into some words can make me realize how I was thinking before.
To keep my noble silence maybe make David worry about me sometimes but I say to him, "Don't worry about me too much, not talking too much is not problem for me at all."
But he wants to communicate more than me and he wants to know what I am thinking & how I feel every single day.
So keep silence to myself is not good for David at all but we are different human beings so I told him not to worry about me too much.
But he likes to talk anyone and he wants to talk a lot and for me, talking too much doesn't need for me sometimes.
So I told him during my silence, "You don't need to worry about me and just keep my space & time for a while." not to make him worry about me anymore.
He looks to worry about me sometimes so I need to let him not to worry about me too much.
So I try to communicate with him how I feel and what I think every day to live together with compassion & love.
But we have different opinion & thought so we tend to think how we are different from each other.
For me, each difference doesn't matter at all because we are different human beings to understand each other more and better.
I like to keep silence sometimes but David wants to talk more than I think.
But he can be patient until I want to talk about my feeling, so I am so thankful for his patience and generosity.
How do you feel today?
What are you thinking today???
I hope that you feel positive thinking inside of you every day as much as possible!!^^
Today's weather forecast was rain all day long and I didn't expect good weather today at all.
But after early morning rain, the weather became nice with sunshine & blue sky and it is windy a little.
And until this weekend, the weather forecast says "rain, cloud and rain" but I don't trust it at all.
Spring weather is very changeable like my emotion and I don't mind any weather at all.
I want to take a walk every day but only heavy rain cannot make me walking but I can enjoy walking even in a little rain.
Anyway today, I feel so much calm and stable inside of my heart at the begging of today but after I walked with David, I feel so much emotional heart inside.
I don't know what happened to my heart but I cried a little.
But after that, I felt so much clearer mind than before and I tried to forget my tears.
Like today's changeable weather, my mind is very changeable, too...so I don't think my mind too much anymore.
Anyway, today it let me feel spring weather with warmth and I am looking forward to watching cherry blossom soon.
Day by day, all cherry trees turned to red of small buds and they looks waiting for the timing of blossom.
In Seattle, many cherry blossom trees are planted on the road and it will make me happy to welcome new spring every year.
Especially, for me, this new spring means a lot to make my life be happier more and better.
Day by day, my emotional part of heart is changeable but i don't want to be emotional lady at all.
To observe my emotion with peace & rational mind can make me understand how I am feeling & thinking.
Not to involve myself in emotional status, I want to be peaceful lady without JUDGEMENT for everything around me.
How is your today??
I wish that you can enjoy your new spring season with peaceful heart & smile!!^^
After cold season in our life, always new & warm season will arrive at our life always & anytime...
Today is Valentine's day!
But I am not interested in chocolate to celebrate today at all.
Because to buy chocolate or some presents for Valentines' day seems the trick of economic influence.
To appreciate with my partner with LOVE is not only today but also every day for me.
So I don't want to do anything at all for Valentine's day like others do.
To celebrate today as special as I can feel is important for me.
Because no one day is not the same day of others in my life.
To make TODAY be special let our marriage life be happy always and forever.
Anyway, I don't mind if others enjoy Valentine's day today at all, so I wish that you will have a wonderful time with LOVE & smile as you want.
I am so thankful for DAVID as he is because his love can always make me happy and heartwarming every day.
I hope that your LOVE will expand for your precious people around you with peace, anyway....^^
Yesterday, David's elder brother sent aunt's movie which is made by our great friend for her funeral service this Saturday.
His brother asked David to check it out before service and we watched it together in this morning.
The movie was so great made by our wonderful friend that we couldn't stop crying with a lots of tears naturally.
All movies are filled with her great life of family's & friends' photos and David's Mom & Dad were there, too.
I imagined that his aunt has a great life with pleasure & love until her death last week.
And we shared our tears together with this great movie.
Tears can purify our heart naturally and we didn't need to stop our tears as they went out of our eyes.
After we watched her movie, David went to work with smile and I started to cook by myself.
I thought a lot about his aunt because we met her at the hospital just before day of her death.
But now she is not alive in this world and I cannot believe this reality still now.
I realized how great she lived her life for 76 years and now she can see David's MOM in heaven, I believe.
Anyway to memorize someone who passed away is precious time for us with peace.
Dead relatives cannot come back to this world but they are always living in our heart deeply.
And also I remember my grandfather, grandmother and grand-grandmother who I lost of my family in JAPAN, but their love is always with my heart.
Anyway....David & I need to move on with strength & peace from now on.^^
We are going to his aunt's funeral service with his family and today's our tears with her movie maybe the rehearsal to cry...><
It was very cold in this morning and today's forecast says "it will snow in the evening."
But the sunshine came out from the sky in this morning and I can feel so much clear mind after enough sleeping.
Last night, David came back to home later than usual so I couldn't keep awake until he finished talking about his day.
But I did do my best yesterday to cook him "BIBINPA" dinner to let him relieved his fatigue.
And he really loved it with smile and he didn't want to finish the dinner.
So he ate so slowly that he wanted to keep eating as slow as possible.
But I wanted to sleep after he ate his dinner but he looked very exciting after dinner & 1 day of work before sleeping.
I couldn't keep awake enough for David but finally we started to sleep together.
After we woke up together in this morning with nice sunshine, we started to meditate & walk together.
These our routine can make us feel better than before to start our NEW DAY.
So we will keep doing our routine even it is snowing outside.
To start new day is precious time how precious we can feel & think to share with each thought.
Outside of this world like a CHAOS but we can keep our mind in peace as well as possible.
But our mind in peaceful status can not be destroyed by anything & anyone if we can keep it in our heart like our sanctuary.
So I like to YOGA, Meditation and walking to keep my mind in peace & positive way every day.
Anyway today it will snow in the evening but I want to enjoy this cold weather with David.
With his love, my heart can keep always warm with tenderness so I don't feel anything bad in this world.
In winter season, there are so much snow in this world but let's keep our mind with warmth of LOVE & SMILE as much as possible.
Our mind & heart can let us feel happy & warm by our efforts easily...^^
Today is the DEBAT day between Mrs. Hillary and Mr. Trump for next presidential election.
David wanted to watch the Debate and he looked enjoying it.
I have no right to elect the next president and I am not interested in the Debate less than David.
Today is the second Debate and first Debate looked that Mrs. Hillary was better than Mr. Trump.
But today they debated better than before, I felt.
Mr. Trump became more calm down than before.
I couldn't understand some of difficult words of their Debate.
But I could feel the nuance how they talked each other.
Next third Debate will be the final one before the election.
So David will be looking forward to watchin g it again...
Anyway in the U.S..A., the politics is closer and familiar than Japanese and it is very good.
Many American looks very exciting the next presidential election and I want to observer how it will goes on with David.
David & I love "Trader Joe's" supermarkets in Seattle.
They have lots of branches in Washington state and they sell many organic fruits & vegetables.
Also they sell organic original products and we love to go shopping.
Especially our local area at Edmonds, we can feel nice energy with their staffs whenever we are shopping.
David is very open heart and he has pureness in heart.
And he likes to talk anyone when he wants to talk at any time.
Always he starts to talk when we are paying for our foods at casher in every supermarket.
He started to talk something without hesitation always.
And he found some nice staffs at our favorite supermarket and he likes to talk with them usually.
He can feel something similar personality & character in someone and then he likes to talk them more and more.
At the first, I was so surprised at his behavior that he always talked anyone at anytime.
Always they are completely strangers and he didn't care.
Little by little, I get to used to his talking style and recently his favorite staffs can recognize me because I am usually with David in the supermarket.
And to learn my speaking English is necessary to talk native people in Seattle without hesitation and I try to talk anyone little by little.
David looked my change and he is proud of my effort and he talked to me how to talk someone in English.
Our living area is very open & kind local place and I am so thankful this town's character.
Most people look at me with smile & say "Hi!" or "Hello!" to me and I can naturally respond them to say "Hi!" & " Hello!" with s
To hesitate to talk strangers in English is not my character at all and I don't like "SHY KEIKO" at all.
Not to be afraid of mistaking of my speaking English is so important for me that I can learn my English here in Seattle every single day...
It looks like "FREE LESSON" in the U.S.A for me now!
And I'd like to be better speaker in English and I don't want to waste my life time at all.
Life is too short to look back, isn't it??
David and I met for the first time in 2012 and I was 38 years old.
And we got married in the same year after 9 months when we met for the first time.
My marriage timing was the best and we can enjoy our marriage life from now on.
And just I want to cherish each day with David as much as possible with smile & love always & forever.
Because we are together to enjoy our life together here now and there is no time to waste of our lifetime even 1 day.
I wish you have a great day with love & smile today, too!^^
Now in Seattle, many cherry blossom trees are very beautiful and we can enjoy this new spring season together with sunshine!!
BE HAPPY with smile and enjoy your life without regret & hesitation to be happier more than before!!
When David and I got some little quarrel, we just kept silence for a while.
And always the cause of the quarrel was tiny things but just we stopped talking each other.
I got used his route of frustration better than before and just I tried to keep my silence not to argue anymore when I noticed his bad mood.
Sometimes it took a few minutes to recover each emotions but others took over some nights.
But I usually wait that David will notice what happens wrong between us.
None of us are perfect so we just feel some lack of each self inside.
We can say, "I am sorry" to each other after each noble silent time mostly.
So we can understand each other after small quarrel little by little.
Of course, I don't need to stupid time to feel frustration each other and I think it is worthless time.
Just I want to live with smile always as much as possible.
So I think that every our quarrel can give us a nice opporntunity to understand each other.
Next month, our marriage anniversary will come soon...it will be 3 years'!!
Just we met 3 years and 7 months ago and we decided to get married after 9 months.
So we need to know each other through our marriage life every day to understand more and better with love & benevolence.
I like to write a letter more than e-mail message.
To write a letter is my pleasure to express my heart to someone.
Now computer became a convenient tool to contact with people each other.
But sometimes I feel so strange & wired that many people use a mobile phone or computer at public area so much.
Reality is around our circumstances but many people enjoy connecting to fiction world.
And of course, computer is very convenient and useful tool to contact with people, it's O.K.
But sometimes I want to cut off the internet world to be concious of my real world in front of me.
And I want to enjoy to feel the natural wind & observe the clouds in the sky & the smell with my eyes closed.
To use my precious present time in the internet world tend to deprive my precious sensation of my real world sometime.
About 4 months ago, I stopped using my mobile phone in Japan.
I don't like use mobile phone at all and I don't need it so much like we don't use it before.
Always I don't need to have a phone always to contact with people.
Now it's not working and out of survice, but just I use it to keep my pictures.
After stop using it, my precious time in this realiy became to increase more than before.
And I could get to write a message by letters and cards to send my message by my writing.
Actually I realized how I like to write a letter for a long years...
To express my heart in letters is very comfortable to know how I feel NOW.
Many people can not understand how one feel now deeply but it's simple ways to know it by writing in peace....
So Degital world keep developing day by day in this world, but I am still ANALOG KEIKO and I really like it to feel myself so well.
I want to recommend you that sometimes let youreslf keep away from internet world to enjoy actual reality in front of you.
Thanks for reading this in the end...I hope you will enjoy today with smile & love, too!
Always I want to be positve way as I hope.
But not always I am perfect to be like that.
My condition is sometimes good but sometimes not so good.
But whole myself is always same actually.
I feel sometimes less energy than usual but I cannot hide my true self.
David notice my difference immediately and his love is always flowing to me...
One day , David told me "I love MARUMARU Keiko."
I laughed at his expression of his Japanese & English.
"Marumaru" means "whole" in Japanese, and I understood what he wanted to tell me.
And I really love it and I am so thankful for everythink of his love for me...
At anytime he try to understand myself as I am and I am so impressed his pure & straight love.
So in return , naturally I can love him more and more.
And we can inspire each other to love from now on...
To look at his smile and to let his smile shine are my pleasure.
So I want to cherish this happy moment as much as possible.
I wish you can accept your whole self every day.
And I hope you love whole someone special as one is...
Author:Masuda Keiko (増田佳子)
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