Last 5 weeks, I supported to cook for a lady who has a serious disease at her home twice a week.
I wanted to support her as long as possible but her mind suddenly changed and my support finished unfortunately.
It was her choice and I did my best for her every visit and I have no regret for my support at all.
I want her to feel comfortable and peace as well as possible and if she doesn't need my support anymore, I want to respect her thinking.
I feel just gratitude for her and her husband to give me this opportunity with my support anyway.
And David & I are so glad that we could see her and her husband because they gave us great life experience.
I have no regret of my support for her because I can tell that I did my best as much as possible.
And David supported me during his holidays so much and I really appreciate with his love and support for me.
I wanted to keep my support for her but her decision looks firm and I don't bother her life anymore by my feeling for her anymore.
Only what I can do for her is praying for her recovery and peace in her mind without so much pain inside of my heart.
Because I love her so much and I want her to live as long as possible.
Her disease and her husband's support for her will keep from now on at home, so just David & I pray for their peaceful day with benevolence.
If she doesn't need my support anymore, I just want to cherish her way of living with peace & love for my heart.
So I have to move on my life with strength & toughness of my mind with David.
Last 5 weeks of my support for her gave me so much learning and experience and I want to keep my mind in peace & love for my next step.
Nothing will happen in my life to make me learn, I believe.
And GOD will guide me to next my stage as I wish and I want to keep doing my best every single day.^^
Today is Presidents day in the U.S.A and it is holiday to pay respect to past presidents who served this country.
So most people take a holiday today and most banks and schools take holiday.
But I am not so familiar with this holiday that I have a normal day for me.
At our apartments, today looks quiet and calm like Sunday because today is holiday.
Today, it is raining a little outside, so David and I gave up taking a walk after our meditation time.
With rain, we can walk together with raincoat but today we didn't go for walking.
In the U.S.A., national holidays are less than Japan.
So some holidays looks so precious for American, I can feel.
A few days ago, I got organic cacao nibs at our favorite supermarket.
It is made by organic cacao beans and they are roasted and looks chocolate chips.
So today I made a banana cake with cacao nibs for David's snack.
All ingredients are organic and everything mixed so nice that I could make nice banana cup cake finally.
David will love this taste because cacao nibs will let David taste like a chocolate chips inside the cake.
Cacao nibs are not sweet at all but the texture is crunchy and nice flavor of cacao beans.
I really love this cacao nibs and I want to arrange for other sweets to use it for David again!!^^
To sleep well at night is most important to keep our body & mind at healthy condition.
Even we eat healthy organic vegetarian foods, we cannot keep our healthy body & mind without good sleeping.
So I want David to sleep well & enough every night with peace.
But sometimes, David cannot come back to home early and he came back to home late at night these days.
Because he started to work newly from this month and now he is trained many different kinds of schedule to learn of working day by day.
So sometimes I wait for David's coming back to home later than usual my sleeping time.
But my desire of sleeping strike me so strong that I couldn't wait to keep awake sometimes.
I am so sorry that I cannot wait for his back at home but he never complain about it and he always tells me "Please sleep if you want without waiting."
But I want to wait for his coming back if I can.
To keep awake until midnight is not good for our body at all and we can not feel comfortable of body & mind next morning after less sleeping.
So I realize how important & essential part of our well-being is made by sleeping well every night.
How is your SUNDAY today??
How do you feel today??
I hope that you can feel nice energy with peace after enough sleep last night.^^
Usually I eat 1 meal a day and it is very comfortable for me for last 10 years.
To keep my stomach empty until dinner time, I can feel so much energy without appetite.
I drink hot water in the morning after I wake up usually and I eat some organic fruits in the afternoon.
And then I am very looking forward to eating dinner with David to feel gratitude for BLESSING today to make our body & mind energize with vegetarian meals together.
To give enough rest for my internal organs can give me so much energy that my mind and body can feel great & wonderful.
Some people eats 3 meals a day and others may eat more meals a day, but the habit to eat too much a day is not good for our body at all.
Our internal organs are working so hard every day that we need to care for it without eating too much.
After many years of eating habit, some organs will give someone's body ALARM as a sickness or disease, I can tell.
But the disease may be a great opportunity to change one's habit to eat healthy way.
My relatives got some serious disease and they changed their habit of eating after that.
And now, their body condition is not bad because they are making effort to eat healthy way as well as possible.
Body and internal organs are so honest that giving us some nice notices like a disease to care for body & internal organs better than before.
But someone doesn't know how to eat & what to eat proper way at all.
Ignorance of eating healthy way is very sad but most people want to eat as they like and favorite way.
If you follow your body's desire and eat as you want as much as possible, your body's future will be worse than before day by day.
Our internal organs need to take a rest more than eating every day.
So I give my internal organs rest for 16 hours at minimum a day after my dinner time usually.
When I started to do YOGA, I tried to change my body with foods like an life experiment.
And it was good for me and made me so comfortable & satisfaction that I can enjoy this eating habit with DAVID.
I am so lucky that I can get organic fruits, vegetables and grains here in Seattle cheaper than Japan.
So I am so happy that I can cook for us to eat healthy organic vegetarian meals every day with BLESSING now!!
Already today is 18th of February and soon March will come.
It is raining outside all day long but I can feel so much LOVE & gratitude with nice energy inside of myself purely & naturally.
How is your TODAY??
I hope that you can get nice meals every day without eating too much, because I want you to live as long as possible at healthy condition both both of mind & body!!!^^
Today it is beautiful day wish sunshine & blue sky!
And the temperature became so warm that I don't need to wear winter clothes too much today.
David and I walked in this morning and we could feel spring with warmth of sunshine so much today.
And we can feel nice atmosphere inside of our hearts naturally.
We don't life too much cold weather because I don't want to use heater at home.
So we are looking forward to having spring season during long winter season... A LOT!
Today is the great weather with warm sunshine and we can feel so much LOVE from SUN.
How is your day today??
I hope that you can feel wonderful LOVE of sunshine with blue sky if possible...
GOD is around us everywhere, I can feel.
And my meaning of "GOD"is not typical religion but "CREATOR of this world", so I can feel so much BLESSING of GOD today.
Anyway, I can feel so much gratitude of today's great weather and LOVE from this world.
I am so happy that I can feel nice coming of spring day by day...^^
I hope that you can feel new season with warmth & sunshine without too much cold weather anymore!
Today, David's working schedule was from this afternoon to late night.
So I made his Dinner box (not LUNCH box) to eat at his break time.
Usually David and I have 1 meal a day and we don't eat breakfast and have some organic fruits in the afternoon.
So I want him to eat healthy dinner during his working days as well as possible.
After he comes back to home around midnight, he wants to sleep not to eat big dinner.
So I made his Dinner box with my love and he looks happy to bring it.
Today it is nice weather after 1 day of raining so we could walk together after our meditation time.
Our favorite walking route was too much water on the trail after much rain to walk, so we changed our course to walk unfortunately.
But we could have a nice time with smile & talk during walking.
These days, David's working schedule was very irregular so he seemed tired a lot.
So yesterday, I did my massage for his body to remove & release fatigue as much as possible.
He looks so happy after my massage that he could sleep well & deep last night.
To give my LOVE for David is my pleasure because he gives me so much LOVE for me every day.
And our routine of meditation and walking can get our LOVE deeper and stronger than before day by day, I can feel.
We have nice common value of life and prioritize for our life to live simply.
And we really love our simple life as spiritual way because our important things of life is invisible, but we are sure of it withing our hearts naturally.
Many things happens to us every single day but we can share with each thought and feeling to understand more and better.
How is your TODAY??
I wish that you have a great day with smile & peace in your heart as much as possible!!
From the last night, it was raining until this morning.
Today it will rain all day long because the weather forecast says so.
In Seattle, rainy & cloudy days are mostly in the winter season.
But with rain & clouds, the temperature is not so cold but sunshine days become so cold in the morning and the night.
So today, I could feel the warmth of temperature and I am so glad to feel it.
David woke up around 3:00 a.m. in the morning to work at earliest schedule of his new working.
So I woke up at the same time with him and I tried to sleep again after I saw him off at the door.
But my body recognized the morning so I couldn't sleep after he left home.
So I just tried to lay down on the FUTON for a while and I waited my sleeping desire of body come back again.
Little by little, I could feel sleepy again so I started to sleep for an hour.
And I woke up after a short sleep again but my body feels something different from usual sleeping.
Sleeping is the most important for our body at night.
David must be sleepy today, too...so I worry about his body condition.
He started to work from a few weeks ago, so now he learned how to work at many different kinds of schedule.
Sometimes he started to work at 5:00 p.m until 11:00 p.m so his sleeping time became so random and irregular.
He says, "I am O.K.!" but I want him to sleep as much as possible every night.
We eat so much healthy organic foods every day but sleeping is the most important to keep our body and mind in good condition.
So just I tried David to sleep as long as possible to adjust new working schedule these days.
Like sun's movement, we had better to sleep at night and to move during daytime.
I hope that his schedule of new work will be regular shift as he wants little by little after this training month, anyway.
How is your day after Valentines' day?
I hope that you can feel LOVE as much as possible every single day not only Valentine's day with SMILE.!!^^
Today is Valentine's day!
But I am not interested in chocolate to celebrate today at all.
Because to buy chocolate or some presents for Valentines' day seems the trick of economic influence.
To appreciate with my partner with LOVE is not only today but also every day for me.
So I don't want to do anything at all for Valentine's day like others do.
To celebrate today as special as I can feel is important for me.
Because no one day is not the same day of others in my life.
To make TODAY be special let our marriage life be happy always and forever.
Anyway, I don't mind if others enjoy Valentine's day today at all, so I wish that you will have a wonderful time with LOVE & smile as you want.
I am so thankful for DAVID as he is because his love can always make me happy and heartwarming every day.
I hope that your LOVE will expand for your precious people around you with peace, anyway....^^
What is compassion??
To care for others is not EGO at all.
To think others' situation is important for me how to treat someone who needs my support with compassion.
If I were in another situation, I just could imagine how I feel and think.
But it is not exactly how other people feel and think as far as I imagine the situation.
So sometimes I can feel my worthless & useless for others support which I can do my best.
But to try doing my best as I am is very important for me with HOPE & benevolence always.
David & I are very similar but different from each other.
So we can support each other when I feel not good of myself, and I can support him when he feels not good of himself in return.
Compassion is very precious to care for people, David & I believe.
So just loving someone with unconditional love is great think which we can do now.
Day by day, everything is changing and it will not come back again.
So just I want to focus on what I can do today to myself & to others with peaceful mind...^^
Today, David went to see his friends to walk together before his work in this afternoon.
After his aunt's funeral service yesterday, we felt tired together so we slept longer than usual last night.
And we woke up with smile and we did our meditation together as usual as our begging of NEW DAY.
After I saw him of at home, I started to do YOGA and cooking.
I finished all my house working with peace & stable mind and I wanted to take a walk with sunshine & blue sky by myself.
Yesterday, we couldn't take a walk so my body needs to walk today anyway.
And I met some strangers during my walking and I said "HI!" to all of them when I passed them on my way of walking.
I could feel so much energy of SUN & blue sky with clear mind after my walking.
Yesterday, we face on David's aunt's death together but today is NEW DAY for both of us.
I could feel so much gratitude of my mind because I AM ALIVE with peace today.
And I am doing my best today with a little fatigue but I can feel so much love of myself & for David and David's love for me deeply in my heart naturally.
Until our body's death, I want to cherish each day with smile & benevolence.
Because life is too short to look back so I just want to enjoy TODAY as much as possible.
I wish that wonderful cherry blossom season will come day by day, so I am very looking forward to watching it with David!^^
Every day will never come back and each day is completely different from other day in my life.
So I am so thankful for today's GREAT LOVE of SUN, anyway...
I hope that you can enjoy TODAY as you are with peace!^^
Today was David's Mom's sister's (aunt) funeral service.
The end of last month, she passed away unfortunately.
And we visited her living facility and her hospital sometimes and we could see her just day before she passed away.
She is David's younger sister so she reminds me his MOM a lot.
Her funeral service was so great that all family got together to pray for her spirit in peace & to remind her life's memory.
After the service, David & I talked to many relatives as usual as American funeral service with light meals, snacks and soft drinks.
I have no appetite in this afternoon because David & I were too busy to talk to many relatives A LOT!
I met some of them before at other funeral services and all of them were so friendly and kind to me.
To talk to many relatives who really know David's childhood can make me so glad that I can understand him and his relatives better than before.
Of course, the loss of aunt was very very sad for everyone but we could share the loss with compassion & benevolence together.
About 2 hours and a half, I kept talking to many relatives and my legs felt fatigue a little bit, because I kept standing all the time.
David's Dad could come to this service with his elder's family and everyone looked enjoying the time to share each talking.
Japanese funeral service and American one is completely different but I really love the American style.
His aunt had a great life with family & LOVE and everyone misses her, of course.
But we have to live with this grief with tough heart from now on..., anyway.
To face on special sad occasion can give us so much learning to us how to live with LOVE again and again.
Anyway I was so glad that I could communicate with great relatives today with smile & love for a while.^^
I wish that his aunt is sleeping in heaven peacefully & forever...^^
Today is FULL MOON day and David & I started with peaceful mind after meditation.
Every day, our heart is influenced by many things.
Especially, tomorrow is his aunt's funeral service and it will get together our family.
His aunt lived 76 years and her life looked so tough that she survived her life anyway.
After I met her assistant living last month, she could talk to us with smile.
But then her pneumonia became worse than before and she was moved to the hospital at emergency situation.
Her hospital was so close to our home that we could visit her often by walk.
David has so much memories with his aunt because she is his Mom's younger sister.
And she looks his MOM so much and we wanted her to live as long as possible.
But after we visited her at the hospital, her body condition got worse than before.
Little by little, her breath became so hard that she needs to use extra oxygen.
And then she became not to talk to us anymore and finally she passed away last week unfortunately.
Just before day of her death, we visited her and we couldn't believe it real at all.
But tomorrow will be her funeral service so we have to say good bye for her at last.
To face on relative's death is so hard for us that we need to be tough of mind to keep us in peace anyway.
And we are alive and we learned a lot about our life after some relatives' death these days.
To lose someone special is so tough happening that we need to overcome the grief with strength of mind.
Today is FULL MOON day so we tend to think too much something with influence of moon.
So just I want to focus on what I need to do now without overthinking.
Every day is BLESSING and I am thankful for today, too.
And we are alive today and I can feel gratitude of my life in peace..., so I wish that you will enjoy tonight's FULL MOON with peace!!^^
Yesterday, David's elder brother sent aunt's movie which is made by our great friend for her funeral service this Saturday.
His brother asked David to check it out before service and we watched it together in this morning.
The movie was so great made by our wonderful friend that we couldn't stop crying with a lots of tears naturally.
All movies are filled with her great life of family's & friends' photos and David's Mom & Dad were there, too.
I imagined that his aunt has a great life with pleasure & love until her death last week.
And we shared our tears together with this great movie.
Tears can purify our heart naturally and we didn't need to stop our tears as they went out of our eyes.
After we watched her movie, David went to work with smile and I started to cook by myself.
I thought a lot about his aunt because we met her at the hospital just before day of her death.
But now she is not alive in this world and I cannot believe this reality still now.
I realized how great she lived her life for 76 years and now she can see David's MOM in heaven, I believe.
Anyway to memorize someone who passed away is precious time for us with peace.
Dead relatives cannot come back to this world but they are always living in our heart deeply.
And also I remember my grandfather, grandmother and grand-grandmother who I lost of my family in JAPAN, but their love is always with my heart.
Anyway....David & I need to move on with strength & peace from now on.^^
We are going to his aunt's funeral service with his family and today's our tears with her movie maybe the rehearsal to cry...><
When we get older than before, we got many opportunity to face on someone's DETAH unfortunately.
And we need to face on this grief with compassion because many people need friends' and family's support when one lost someone special.
When I was 20's, I was too desperate to live anymore in this world.
And I almost try to say goodby this world but I could get another chance to live after the WORST situation of life.
Now I am alive because of the process of my life anyhow and I am so thankful of my life NOW to survive my life with my strength and weakness.
I learned my weak point in my past and I met many people after my terrible past.
So I could met YOGA and DETOX, YOJOEN who worked for 5 years until my marriage.
Now I am so thankful for my life that I want to make use of myself for someone who really needs me.
And I am very HOPEFUL for everything around us, because GOD is always watching & protecting above us at any single moment.
To make some action with HOPE & positive thinking can make it happen sooner or later.
To believe or not is not my concern, because I believe my strong energy to pray & wish for my precious people's happiness & peace anyway.
I don't know what will happen to us but I never forget HOPE to survive this world.
How are you today???
Do you feel your HOPE inside of your heart??
If you are very difficult situation now, please hang in there to survive with HOPE & peace as much as possible.
Because it will never keep so long that you will survive anyhow, I just want to believe our STRENGTH with benevolence, anyway!!!^^
What is LOVE?? And what is healing??
I don't know how to heal someone who has serious desperate situation exactly.
For example, to lose parent or to face on serious disease for many years are very difficult to handle by own energy & power sometime.
So I want to support someone who really need my love and support anyway.
But sometimes I feel myself helpless and enough to support someone because because they live on their own way of thinking in this real world.
So when I face on the desperate situation, I just focus on myself hot to feel inside deeply with compassion & benevolence.
Someone says, "God doesn't give any difficulties not to solve by own power." but sometimes we can feel the difficulty of solution.
My friend lost DAD in JAPAN these days and my precious students who I taught them some subjects when I was university student lost their MOM the end of last year.
And they lost precious parent suddenly and it hurt their hurt truly and terribly.
They must be in grief still now even some days passed after their parents' death.
How I can support and heal them??
It seems impossible to heal someone's heart completely because time is medicine, I believe.
And I want to believe one's strength of heart to recover their loss of parents by own power day by day.
So only what I can do for them is praying for their peace of heart with benevolence. I think.
And to support someone maybe my EGO and everyone can heal own heart with strength & toughness of self, I want to believe.
So just I want to watch and protect them with peace & love as much as possible until their true smile come back again.
Healing is not easy but everyone has a GREAT power to heal self and others, I believe.
How are you today??
I wish that you can smile today wish peace & love in your heart as much as possible even you lost someone who love in this world.^^
Author:Masuda Keiko (増田佳子)
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